chop.

This has me daydreaming (obsessing) about chopping my hair off. Over the years, lupus and childbirth have ravaged my hair, leaving nothing but a long, stringy-curly remnant of what used to be. I want to start fresh. See what's underneath all the straggles and split ends. See what grows to replace the damaged mess. Fear is the only thing stopping me.

Over recent months, I have been paying attention to who I really am on the inside. Resisting the urge to please others, the urge to cram myself into the ill-fitting sweater they think my life should be. I've just grown tired and weary of struggling, and am finally beginning to let myself be myself. It's refreshing, this not having to fight.

If I chop my hair off, it would be like graduating.